Home | The Amazing Adventures of Squeak the Cat

Squeak and the Bombers

Squeak is quite the athlete. In addition to her eye/paw coordination, her running, leaping and catching abilities are exceptional. Evidently George Steinbrenner, a tad displeased with the Yankees recent performance, was made aware of her attributes. He didn’t care that she was not of the male persuasion as, “big, deal, she’s spayed and she doesn’t do the shower thing anyway. My team needs to play like professionals and if this is the only way to improve their game, then so be it. There’s no rule that says I can’t – and if there is, I challenge it. I’m George Steinbrenner.”

Squeak, shown shagging pop ups in her Yankee warm-ups, does a wonderful job of fielding and chasing down balls in the infield. While hitting is not her forte, her on base percentage is amazing as the opposing pitchers are unable to strike her out. Her strike zone is so small that only one pitch is possible. She is on target to set a major league record for most walks in a season. Her lightening speed around the bases makes her virtually impossible to throw out or tag when stealing.

Steinbrenner, never one to skimp on a price tag, was very pleased with Squeaks contract. She works for treats, toys, string and the occasional cardboard box.

Manager Joe Torre welcomed the addition to the team. “Offensively and defensively, Squeak is a real player.” A utility infielder, she does whatever is asked of her. Her performance may well garner her the much sought after feline honor of having her picture on a Friskies box.

Unfortunately, I must add I am quite chagrined as I am a Met fan. But then again, the Mets are doing OK.