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Little Mother Stella Pynzchbubsky Musicians and Church Liturgists throughout the world have been inspired by the recent wealth of knowledge uncovered regarding the little known, until now, life of the great liturgical accordionist, little Mother Stella Pynzchbubsky (pronounced pinch–boob-skee). Well endowed at an early age with unusual dexterity at the portable keyboard, young Stella was encouraged by her parents, devout Catholics Stanley and Styznaska, to make a beautiful noise for God. Her assets continued to develop as Stella became more deeply involved in her daily practicing. One day, while practicing in her typically diligent manner, it happened. She later described the event as, “the loving pinch of God.” This experience was the inspiration for her consecration to God through the musical ministry of the accordion. The Holy Mass would never be the same. Thousands were drawn to the Eucharistic celebration whenever it was known that Stella would be playing. Poorer churches with no organs welcomed her visits. The sounds of Ave Maria, Veni Creator, and many more filled the sacred space of her local church, Our Lady of Perpetual Motion. All played with a lilting polka beat. It was not long before the pastor intervened. Was it the crowds? Was it jealousy? Or was it just a difference in musical taste? Perhaps we will never know. Msgr. IvanNaby Z. Popeski referred little Stella to the local Bishop who, at the time, claimed to have no use for a female accordion player of Stella’s stature. However, it was his offhand statement, “She belongs in a convent,” that prompted Stella to search the depths of her ample bosom in hopes that the answer would be there. It took quite awhile. As Stella grew in the sight of God and of others, it became apparent that her call was, indeed, unique. She was asked to leave the three consecutive religious orders she entered for various reasons including disturbing the Grand Silence and distracting the clergy. It seems that Sisters unable to refrain from dancing in the aisles during Benediction proved to be disruptive to a cloistered environment. Her ballooning popularity prompted a small, but loyal, following of similarly endowed young women inspired by her painful sacrifice in pursuit of ecstasy with God through the accordion…not to mention their love of Polka. Stella persuaded the local bishop to give her permission to found a new religious order. After approval from the Vatican, a novitiate was formed, and this group became the first sisters in Stella’s religious community, the Institute of the New Sisters for Accordion Notes in Ecstasy – or, as they were locally known, the INSANE sisters. Stella’s untimely death was mourned by all who loved her and her music. She succumbed to internal spontaneous combustion after, reportedly, falling upon the “lost chord”. Stella went out in a blazing wheeze of glory. “It was just one too many squeezes,” her attending physician was heard to remark, “Mammaratic overload.” We are left with the comforting image of Mother Stella, happy forever with God Almighty, sitting in with all the great musicians in heaven and belting out those holy polkas on her golden accordion. Maxims of Mother Stella -Ouch! -Ooh Ooh! -Adequate support is difficult to find. -A one and a two….. CDs Roll Out the Chalice Gregorian Polka Chant Books The Loving Pinch of God
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